Sunday, December 12, 2010

Mean Girls


My daughter had her first experience with a "mean girl" last week. My poor baby! It breaks my heart. She's one of the sweetest girls I know, and I'm not just saying that. Oh, sure, she and I butt heads often, but I'm just so lucky to have her! She's got a smile that can light up a room, she's sensitive, kind, and she's a little shy. I'm so angry with that stupid mean girl!

High school! What a complex roller-coaster ride. Same thing with college. These were some of the best, most cherished times in my life, but the good memories will always be tainted with nightmares about mean girls (and sometimes boys) who made it their mission to make some of us miserable.

There was the remark about my rear, that hitting the diving board with my butt (like we were all doing on purpose) wouldn't hurt me because I had so much padding.

For putting me on "weight probation" my sophomore year in drill (dance) team, then letting girls much bigger than I make the drill team the following year with no restriction. Was that humiliation necessary? I wasn't even fat then! I only wish I was that size again!

For those who commented on my weight, height, choice of friends, choice of boyfriend, personal choices, character, etc. here's to you, mean kids!

To the girl who tried to smother me with my pillow as a way of making fun of me for sleeping with the pillow over my head - what is your problem? (I'm serious. She was supposed to be my "sorrority sister" too!)

For the girls who laughed at me in a variety of situations. And for the ones who ostracized me becaue I wasn't rich enough, pretty enough, good enough, whatever enough.

And to the girl I knew growing up who ended up at my university, what did you accomplish by calling me B***h in front of all of my friends? And so many, many other things that I could probably go on forever.

Yes, here's to you Shannon, Tricia, Tammy, Chanda, Stephanie, Christie, Sherrie, and all the rest. (Yep, I went there - naming names!) And don't let me forget the professor who sponsored the college dance team who told me that I was one of the worst dancers on the team. Thanks. Guess my years of dance lessons were a waste.

People don't realize how much their derogatory comments hurt and how they last. There are things I will absolutely never forget no matter how hard I try. I'm grown with kids of my own, and their remarks still bother me. Maybe I'm too sensitive, but I just can't forget! And now my daughter is going to have scars, and I can't fix it.

6 comments:

Connie said...

Some kids really are obnoxious. Yes, we should blame their parents - kids do what their parents teach them, but they're still mean. These people are not worth the energy required to hate them. There are a lot of people in the world. Most are pretty durn nice. Those are the ones to focus on :)

jenn said...

I'm right there with you! I am waiting for the day Kasi has to deal with idiots. I don't worry about Ryan too much, because he has a tough skin, but Kasi is so sensitive.

I just hope that I have raised them not to be the mean ones.

latree@dandelion said...

wow. sounds you are very angry and I understand. being rude is mean, and it hurts...

Forgetfulone said...

Thanks, Connie. Most of the people I deal with now are in the "nice" category, thankfully. But in high school and college, you don't get to choose who is in your classes and such.

Jenn, Ang has thin skin, too, which is why this bothers me so much.

Latree, not angry, really. Hurt. And watching my daughter hurt. There is just no point in going through life being mean to people to make yourself feel better, and my girl is a sensitive soul.

saveyoursoul said...

It's so tough when that stuff happens, and they're getting more cruel by the generation. My neighbors 16 year old daughter deals with this taunting that makes me want to drive to the school and let them have it. Good for you for getting it out in writing girl! You're a strong woman!

Also, thank you for the sweet words on my page.

Myya said...

Oh my gosh this just breaks my heart! I was popular, but I had friends who were those mean girls. In my presence I NEVER let them downgrade or hurt anyone. Not for a second did I let them get away with awful words. Thank God for that because 15 years out of high school I run into people who did get made fun of & I still at 33 get thank yous for me not doing it. It does hurt & people do remember. What is wrong with people! I pray that I teach my girls better & that they never are a mean girl & even more I pray that they are strong enough to stand up against those that are! Love your sweet girl & just remind her of how wonderful she is and the true reasons behind those harsh acts... those mean girls are just not good people!

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