Saturday, November 14, 2009

Wedding Showers

A co-worker of mine got married this summer. In the months preceeding the wedding, many of the people we work with were invited to various showers. My beef is this... I was taught that it was impolite to invite anyone to your showers that wasn't also invited to the wedding. It's like telling them, "Hey, I want a gift from you, but I don't want you to share the joy of our special day!"

In case I was having an "Emily Post" reaction, I decided to look up the "rules" online from someone who is perhaps younger and hipper than I. Tres Sugar, a trendy online community says this: "It is considered poor etiquette to invite guests to your shower that are not invited to the wedding...." The Shower Diva, an ultra-hip wedding and shower planning guide says this: "Diva Rule No. 1 -- Never invite anyone to the bridal shower who hasn't been invited to the wedding! Such a crass invitation could only be construed as trolling for bling."

So, perhaps I'm not just being old-fashioned after all. The bride-to-be was young (23), but you would think that her mother, or some older female relative, would be aware this was a faux pas. Or perhaps they don't care. I don't know. Does anyone agree?

Now, about those thank you notes...

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  1. Ouch, they really did miss on that one didn't they. Although she may not have been entirely responsible for the situation.

    I had a few people at one shower that originally weren't on the guest list for the wedding, I wasn't responsible for the shower or the shower guest list. I did provide last minute invitations for those people, easy because the wedding was at our new home and the reception was barbecue/picnic style but probably not possible for everyone to do.

    However, if it happened over and over I'd have to say that they just wanted the gifts and didn't care what anyone thought.

    Calico Contemplations

  2. They win the tacky and rude award for the day. More than one day.

  3. That's interesting. I didn't know that. I do know that anytime someone gets married, the team throws a shower for that person. And we aren't always all invited to the wedding.


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