Post-surgical Depression

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I had shoulder surgery a little over three weeks ago.  There was a bone spur, osteoarthritis, an impingement, and a torn bicep tendon reattachment.  I'm glad I had the surgery because, as my doctor told me, none of this would have healed on its own, and it likely would have gotten worse.  But, even though it was a necessary procedure, my whole life has been turned upside down.  I know it will heal, though it's going to take some time, and I see myself falling into depression.

I've written about all the things I can't do with only one fully functioning arm, but it's much more than that.

• I get tired easily, even though I'm not exerting much energy.
• I have to sleep in a recliner when I'm actually able to sleep because I still cannot lie flat without pain. This means that our living room is my bedroom which is the center of much activity.
• My sleep patterns are completely unpredictable.
• I feel like a burden to my family.
• Conversely, I feel like others are inconsiderate when they forget that this IS my so-called bedroom, and activity in here disturbs me.  I don;t go in their bedrooms and disturb them. 
• I need help getting out of my seat sometimes. 
• I'm gaining weight because I can't exercise,
• I cannot change shirts without help.
• I can brush my hair, but I can't style it on my own.
• I look ridiculous with my sling as someone clearly pointed out to me.
• I cannot do many of the activities that make me happy; life is extremely monotonous and boring.
• I can't take myself to doctor or physical therapy appointments which means someone has to adjust their schedule to accommodate my needs, usually my children.  My husband has to work, so he doesn't take me to appointments.
• A few people have brought us meals which my husband equates with charity, and no one wants to be anyone's charity case,
• I'm not sure how long the pain is supposed to last.
• I get numerous side effects from most pain medication so I don't take it often.
• I have crazy muscle spasms, not just in the shoulder, so I have some meds for that, but I'm not sure how well it works yet.
• I cry more often than usual.
• Not to mention other family and personal issues that I can't begin to describe here.

So... what's a gal to do?  Continue the emotional spiral downward?  I know that sadness, lack of energy and motivation, helplessness, fatigue, loneliness, a feeling of uselessness, feeling unsupported, and an I-don't-care attitude are signs of depression.  The sling comes off in a week, hopefully, but full recovery can take 6 months to a year.  Am I just going to miraculously feel better when I've recovered physically?  There is a lot of information out there about signs and symptoms and many articles confirming that post-operative depression is real (although I could name a few people who would say it's not), but there is very little about coping with it.  Again, what's a gal to do?

I am the Grammar Queen

Need something proofread at work?  Have a question about a paper you're writing for grad school?  Want me to double check your syllabus and parent letter before you print it?  I'm the woman!  I was once only the Grammar Princess, but our Grammar Queen retired, and the title passed to me.  Other than the age range,  I meet the requirements of Grammar Nerd.  Do you fit the profile? "Irregardless" gets me every time, as does "intensive purposes" and as do many other mistakes people make. And how many people, other than I, even know what the Oxford comma is? I will use one in a sentence: Some pet peeves I have with words are "alot," "liberry," between you and I," and "pitcher (when meaning picture)." Did you see it? Are you a Grammar Nerd, too?

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What Can't I Do One-handed?

My shoulder surgery was exactly 3 weeks ago, and I still have 10 days to go in the sling.  Unlike some slings, my hand does not stick out of the sling.  There is a Nerf-type ball that I hold onto because it helps assure that my elbow, and thus my shoulder, is at the proper angle.  So, I am literally able to use one hand.

Anyway, I now have a strong appreciation for having two working arms as there are things I just can't do with one hand, things I never would have thought about previously.  I'm sure there are people who could learn to do these things with one hand, but not I.

1.  Who can tie their shoes with one hand?
2.  Is it possible to cut steak or other foods with only one hand?  I actually use my left hand to cut foods, so I definitely can't.
3.  Wrapping presents is out of the question!  I had three gifts to give to people shortly after my surgery, so I had to prepare in advance.

4.  Folding laundry.  Technically, I can do it, and I've tried, but it takes too long, and my folded items don't look very nice.
5.  Washing dishes by hand is difficult because I need one hand to hold the item, and the other hand to wash.
6.  Using a can opener requires two hands.
7.  As does a cork screw.

8.  Using rollers or a curling iron is out of the question!
9.  I can't pull my hair back with clips or put it in a ponytail.
10. Opening child-proof medicine bottles requires two hands.

11. Fastening a bra or jeans.
12.  There's no way I can fasten earrings.
13. Doing push-ups with two hands is difficult enough, but trying to do a one-handed pushup is virtually impossible.

And there are many more.  It's like that saying, "You don't know what you have until it's gone."  BUT... this too shall pass.  Link up with Thursday Thirteen here!

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Random Tuesday

Random!  My favorite topic, or lack of.  I'm linking my post with Stacy Uncorked.  Join us!

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My arm is getting, oh, so much better, now that I'm going to physical therapy.  It's not easy, but my range of motion is showing gradual improvement.  I'm halfway through the "sling" stage and anticipating the time I can type with two hands, hold my beautiful cat, and do some scrap-booking and crafts.

Our AC went out early yesterday morning, and we didn't realize it until late afternoon. Hubby is very mechanical, so he tried a few things before deciding to call someone.  By then, no one was available to come out until the morning.  Now, please understand... Having no air conditioner in south Texas in July is a CRISIS!  I pray someone comes early this morning to repair it and that it doesn't cost us an arm and a leg.

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Speaking of costing an arm and a leg, which we know refers to something expensive, here's a little story that explains the so-called origin of the phrase.

 The tale is that portrait painters used to charge more for larger paintings, and that a head and shoulders painting was the cheapest option, followed in price by one which included arms, and finally the top of the range, 'legs and all' portrait. 

Unfortunately, this story is completely untrue and backed with no evidence other than the word of some unknown drunk at a pub ages ago. Hahaha!

Painters certainly did charge more for large pictures, but there's no evidence to suggest they did so by limb count.

Have a happy week!

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It's Just my Opinion

The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Before I read this book, I had heard two friends, who are both avid readers, discuss how incredible it was. Then I read the description, which also reeled me in. So, I read it. I enjoyed it, but it didn't live up to all the hype.Moriarty has a good sense of writing style and word choice, and I did feel like she developed the characters so that the reader can identify with their feelings and motivations. I also liked that it was set in Australia which allowed her to work in some aspects of authenticity.

On the other hand, I feel Moriarty spent too much time creating backstory that was extraneous. It took a while to get into the meat of the story, so much that I almost abandoned it. She connected John Paul's family to Rachel Crowley's character as well as Connor's character, but she failed to connect Tess's family to the others. Tess's story was unrelated to the main plot. She connected Connor to Tess, but she gave no logical connection to the Fitzpatricks and Crowleys. This really bothered me because I felt like it should have been two separate books. I also think the plot was a bit predictable.

On a positive note, I liked the ending. Moriarty gave several "what if" scenarios which created the perfect epilogue. Overall, I would have appreciated more intensity and a quicker pace.

View all my reviews

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