Jim is an average Joe. He watched his son play football today... and his team lost. Jim was on the sidelines cheering the team on all they way, even cheering with the cheerleaders and telling them, "You girls rock!" Jim's son is age 8 playing football for the first time. Jimbo isn't getting any younger. At age 37, he is getting to relive some of his own football glory through his son, although today wasn't so glorious. A 38 to 19 loss, to be exact. But Jim yelled till his lungs were tired and his throat was raw. That's what he does every weekend.
Jim is about six feet three inches tall, in pretty good physical shape with curly blonde hair and a cleanshaven face. Not handsome by today's standards, but not awful to look at, either. There are two things that endear him to his friends and the ladies. Not his height, nor his physique, nor even his golden hair. Not his high school football trophies, and not his $90K job, either. Not even the red Mustang GT convertible that he drives. One thing is his infectious laughter, laughter that comes from deep within the belly. Sincere laughter. The kind of laughter that comes from truly enjoying everything life has to offer. The other thing people find is they are hypnotized by his clear turquoise eyes, the kind of eyes that remind you of the ocean, that you could dive into and swim in the coolness of their translucence.
So, why is Jim alone at the game? He's not a wife-beater. He's not a cheater. He's not even a penny-pinching Scrooge. So what is it? He's too nice. Yep. Too nice. His wife left him for a man of more drama and mystery. His heart was shattered. Since then, he's found that the women he dates don't want to be treated chivalrously. They seem to expect a man to be uncouth, foul-mouthed, selfish schemers, and when they find he isn't, they leave him.
He's a good dad, and the kids come first. There are two. The 8 year old and a 4 year old boy who would rather paint that play sports. But that's okay with Jim. Although he wishes both his boys would be interested in football, he is completely accepting of the differences in his children. He shares custody of the boys with his ex-wife, and the two of them get along as though there never was a disagreement between them. There probably wasn't. Jim would've hung the moon for Patricia if she'd let him. There just wasn't enough excitment for her.
So Jim is alone at the game today, just like last week and the week before that, wearing cut off jeans, sneakers, and a plain white tee shirt, screaming his head off and encouraging the boys to do their best. Was it different for him in high school? Well, that's another story.
I've Slept Since Then
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Sunday Scribblings
I've decided to participate in the Sunday Scribblings blog when I can. They give you a topic, and you respond to it however you want. Here's my take on "skin."
What I first thought of when I saw the topic "skin" was what I’ll write about. People often say that you have to have "thick skin" to get through this things in this world. Exactly what does that mean?
For example, I had a cheerleader mom complain about something the other day. A little background: I’m cheer director (a volunteer position) for a group of 10 girls ages 5-10 for a local little league football team. The parent wasn’t criticizing me personally or really complaining about something that I have control over. I had to have thick skin so as not to take it personally, but I didn’t. It really bothered me until the next time I was able to talk with her. She’s very sweet, but I felt like I was being asked to fix something I couldn’t fix. I don’t think it was meant to be an attack, but it felt like one.
Another issue where I needed thick skin but had a hard time with it was also during this past week. I had a boy write something naughty on the computer screen with a certain program, and I saw it, and I had to write it up. He finally admitted to the principal what he did, and he got in trouble, both at home and school, and when he came to get his books out of my room after seeing the principal, he was crying, and I felt so terrible. If I had thicker skin, it wouldn’t have bothered me so much since he’s the one who made a mistake and needed to learn from it.
My daughter is also very sensitive. My sister has told me a number of times that she’s going to need to develop thicker skin or she’s going to be miserable. I don’t think it’s that severe. My stepdaughter is fairly much the same way.
Then, there’s the oldest stepdaughter who’s exactly the opposite. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks! Actually, I think her case is worse because no matter how much she claims she isn’t bothered by things, I think she hold it inside and makes herself almost sick over it. Sometimes I wish she had thinner skin so things would matter to her, because the way it seems now, nothing does!
Thick skin… definitely a trait that can be useful. Not letting things "get" to you. As long as you know in your heart you’re doing the right thing or that you’ve done nothing wrong, then why let other people have the power to control your emotions? So much easier to say than do.
What I first thought of when I saw the topic "skin" was what I’ll write about. People often say that you have to have "thick skin" to get through this things in this world. Exactly what does that mean?
For example, I had a cheerleader mom complain about something the other day. A little background: I’m cheer director (a volunteer position) for a group of 10 girls ages 5-10 for a local little league football team. The parent wasn’t criticizing me personally or really complaining about something that I have control over. I had to have thick skin so as not to take it personally, but I didn’t. It really bothered me until the next time I was able to talk with her. She’s very sweet, but I felt like I was being asked to fix something I couldn’t fix. I don’t think it was meant to be an attack, but it felt like one.
Another issue where I needed thick skin but had a hard time with it was also during this past week. I had a boy write something naughty on the computer screen with a certain program, and I saw it, and I had to write it up. He finally admitted to the principal what he did, and he got in trouble, both at home and school, and when he came to get his books out of my room after seeing the principal, he was crying, and I felt so terrible. If I had thicker skin, it wouldn’t have bothered me so much since he’s the one who made a mistake and needed to learn from it.
My daughter is also very sensitive. My sister has told me a number of times that she’s going to need to develop thicker skin or she’s going to be miserable. I don’t think it’s that severe. My stepdaughter is fairly much the same way.
Then, there’s the oldest stepdaughter who’s exactly the opposite. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks! Actually, I think her case is worse because no matter how much she claims she isn’t bothered by things, I think she hold it inside and makes herself almost sick over it. Sometimes I wish she had thinner skin so things would matter to her, because the way it seems now, nothing does!
Thick skin… definitely a trait that can be useful. Not letting things "get" to you. As long as you know in your heart you’re doing the right thing or that you’ve done nothing wrong, then why let other people have the power to control your emotions? So much easier to say than do.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Teenage Dilemma
The fastest way to get a girl and guy to go out together is to tell them they can't, right? So how do you get a girl and guy to NOT want to see each other?
They've known each other a long time. They've treated each other well. They've treated each other like crap. She lost her virginity to him. They've both dated other people, maybe even had sex with other people, at least I know he has. Now, they're talking again. He's just going to hurt her again, I know! He's a thug. She has the potential to be a great nurse or even doctor. He's stuck in a trailer park in Conroe 50 miles away. She's considering college next year. Different worlds. And to look at them, there is no apparent attraction, and it's not as though other people don't want to go out with them.
So, I can't logically analyze it, but I know they don't belong together. He holds her back from achieving her goals. What's a parent or step-parent to do? Sit back and watch the mistake unfold for the third time? Or will this make the fourth time? I've lost count. How do you get a co-dependent to leave the "dependee" behind and look toward what could be a bright future?
Much of what has happened around our house the last day or so can be attributed to this nonsense.
I know when I was 17/18, I thought I knew everything. Of course, I know now that I didn't, but I was stubborn like her. I couldn't really see what the future held, and I didn't realize some things that held me back.
If the quickest way to get a couple together is to tell them they can't, what's the quickest, least painful way to get them to break up? Anyone? Suggestions? Help!
They've known each other a long time. They've treated each other well. They've treated each other like crap. She lost her virginity to him. They've both dated other people, maybe even had sex with other people, at least I know he has. Now, they're talking again. He's just going to hurt her again, I know! He's a thug. She has the potential to be a great nurse or even doctor. He's stuck in a trailer park in Conroe 50 miles away. She's considering college next year. Different worlds. And to look at them, there is no apparent attraction, and it's not as though other people don't want to go out with them.
So, I can't logically analyze it, but I know they don't belong together. He holds her back from achieving her goals. What's a parent or step-parent to do? Sit back and watch the mistake unfold for the third time? Or will this make the fourth time? I've lost count. How do you get a co-dependent to leave the "dependee" behind and look toward what could be a bright future?
Much of what has happened around our house the last day or so can be attributed to this nonsense.
I know when I was 17/18, I thought I knew everything. Of course, I know now that I didn't, but I was stubborn like her. I couldn't really see what the future held, and I didn't realize some things that held me back.
If the quickest way to get a couple together is to tell them they can't, what's the quickest, least painful way to get them to break up? Anyone? Suggestions? Help!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
On Teenagers
(red - for anger) Boy! Did I give my parents this much hell when I was in high school? I guess I did. I'm sorry Mom and Dad. And this one is my step-daughter! I think I get madder than her dad does. What does that tell you?
Let's see... skipping school. Not being where she says she's going to be. Telling bold-faced lies about a couple of things, to us and to her teachers. Using the multi-media on the cell phone (and having no job to pay for it). Downloading ring tones (again, no money to pay for them). And to top it off, crashing our glass coffee table into bits and pieces so that there are shards of glass on everyone's school work and all over the rug and floor, all because she didn't get what she wants and threw a temper fit. I need some prayer, people! Please, God, give me some patience and some wisdom to deal with this the best I can.
I haven't said a word to her, and my husband doesn't talk much to me about it. He gets so defensive if I say anything. I guess I can understand that. And she starts this crud about people not liking her. It's just a cop-out. Oh, poor me! Baloney! I guess it's best I hold my tongue and stay out of it. She probably already blames me for some of it because NOTHING is her own fault.
So, she's lost the lap top for a while (which she wouldn't have except that her uncle bought it for her). She's lost driving privileges, and perhaps the cell phone, too. I think he took it away. But she has no way to pay for a new coffee table (about $400) or to pay the cell phone bill, and I'll tell you another thing. If she thinks I want to contribute one thin dime to her college fund if she can't be responsible enough to trust to go away to school, she's got another thing coming.
All this happens the day after my husband gets home from an out of town trip of four days where he played in a golf tournament sponsored by Southwest Airlines in honor of his deceased brother. So, he was home about 8 hours when all this came about.
Amid all this, she has good grades. She's a bright girl. She has a bright future if she doesn't mess it up right now. Part of it is that she is talking to an ex-boyfriend of hers that she is so hung up on after he treated her like crap over a year ago. You know what it is? She is still so "in love" with him because he rejected her. She can't stand rejection. Who can? But, she sets herself up for a fall over and over. I guess I didn't listen when I was her age, either. I wish someone had MADE me listen and saved me some heartache! If we only knew then what we know now.
And last, the apple doesn't fall far from the maternal tree.
Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully a brighter one. God please have mercy on us all! I just had to vent.
Let's see... skipping school. Not being where she says she's going to be. Telling bold-faced lies about a couple of things, to us and to her teachers. Using the multi-media on the cell phone (and having no job to pay for it). Downloading ring tones (again, no money to pay for them). And to top it off, crashing our glass coffee table into bits and pieces so that there are shards of glass on everyone's school work and all over the rug and floor, all because she didn't get what she wants and threw a temper fit. I need some prayer, people! Please, God, give me some patience and some wisdom to deal with this the best I can.
I haven't said a word to her, and my husband doesn't talk much to me about it. He gets so defensive if I say anything. I guess I can understand that. And she starts this crud about people not liking her. It's just a cop-out. Oh, poor me! Baloney! I guess it's best I hold my tongue and stay out of it. She probably already blames me for some of it because NOTHING is her own fault.
So, she's lost the lap top for a while (which she wouldn't have except that her uncle bought it for her). She's lost driving privileges, and perhaps the cell phone, too. I think he took it away. But she has no way to pay for a new coffee table (about $400) or to pay the cell phone bill, and I'll tell you another thing. If she thinks I want to contribute one thin dime to her college fund if she can't be responsible enough to trust to go away to school, she's got another thing coming.
All this happens the day after my husband gets home from an out of town trip of four days where he played in a golf tournament sponsored by Southwest Airlines in honor of his deceased brother. So, he was home about 8 hours when all this came about.
Amid all this, she has good grades. She's a bright girl. She has a bright future if she doesn't mess it up right now. Part of it is that she is talking to an ex-boyfriend of hers that she is so hung up on after he treated her like crap over a year ago. You know what it is? She is still so "in love" with him because he rejected her. She can't stand rejection. Who can? But, she sets herself up for a fall over and over. I guess I didn't listen when I was her age, either. I wish someone had MADE me listen and saved me some heartache! If we only knew then what we know now.
And last, the apple doesn't fall far from the maternal tree.
Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully a brighter one. God please have mercy on us all! I just had to vent.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Friday Night Blog
Hello out there in cyper-land! It seems like a long time since I logged on. Well, I got my first paycheck, although it was lost at first, but it was wrong. My former school district didn't send my service record, and it makes over an $8,000 difference in my yearly salary. I know it will get fixed, but it bothers me when people are incompetent. I spend most of Tuesday on the phone and email trying to find my "lost" check, trying to get my service record sent post-haste, and calling eye doctors about fitting my daughter for contacts. She lost her glasses at Schlitterbahn on Labor Day.
That's a bit of good news, though. I won five free tickets to Schlitterbahn in Galveston, which is less than an hour away. So, all but Heather went on Labor Day. She went with her guy friend to Moody Gardens. They were right next door to us all day and we didn't even know it! Anyway, other than Kathleen losing her glasses - don't even ask - we had a great day! The water is refreshing, and the slides and rides are exhilarating. It was a nice break for all of us.
Back into the swing of things now, though. Football, cheerleading, piano about to start, one kid wanting to take hip hop, and another wanting to take jazz. Plus I'm taking a course through South Houston Bible Institute and Dave and I are going to take a Dynamic Marriage seminar through our church.
Remember Dave's brother died not too long ago? He worked for Southwest Airlines, and they are hosting a golf tournament in honor of John, so Dave is headed out to San Diego Sunday and then to Tijuana. Wish I could go, but I can't. I wouldn't golf, but I would like to go anyway.
So far all the kids are doing well in school and I am adjusting to having to work again. I'm spending so much time creating materials and lessons that will be fun as well as educational. I'm exhausted all the time. I've come up with some really cool ones, though. We did a parts of speech scavenger hunt in our commons area at the school. We're making charts based on some of our nonfiction reading. We're making word scrolls and working with partners instead of just doing vocabulary definitions and tests. I'm creating a bulletin board with their "super sentences" on it. I think the kids are having fun, and they are definitely learning.
Blah, blah, blah. I really could go on and on because creating these lessons and new materials is taking a lot of time. But it's probably a boring subject for most people. Most NORMAL people!
I want to upload a picture of the adorable baby pandas in China but it's on my other computer and I can't get to it right now. So, I guess that'll be all.
That's a bit of good news, though. I won five free tickets to Schlitterbahn in Galveston, which is less than an hour away. So, all but Heather went on Labor Day. She went with her guy friend to Moody Gardens. They were right next door to us all day and we didn't even know it! Anyway, other than Kathleen losing her glasses - don't even ask - we had a great day! The water is refreshing, and the slides and rides are exhilarating. It was a nice break for all of us.
Back into the swing of things now, though. Football, cheerleading, piano about to start, one kid wanting to take hip hop, and another wanting to take jazz. Plus I'm taking a course through South Houston Bible Institute and Dave and I are going to take a Dynamic Marriage seminar through our church.
Remember Dave's brother died not too long ago? He worked for Southwest Airlines, and they are hosting a golf tournament in honor of John, so Dave is headed out to San Diego Sunday and then to Tijuana. Wish I could go, but I can't. I wouldn't golf, but I would like to go anyway.
So far all the kids are doing well in school and I am adjusting to having to work again. I'm spending so much time creating materials and lessons that will be fun as well as educational. I'm exhausted all the time. I've come up with some really cool ones, though. We did a parts of speech scavenger hunt in our commons area at the school. We're making charts based on some of our nonfiction reading. We're making word scrolls and working with partners instead of just doing vocabulary definitions and tests. I'm creating a bulletin board with their "super sentences" on it. I think the kids are having fun, and they are definitely learning.
Blah, blah, blah. I really could go on and on because creating these lessons and new materials is taking a lot of time. But it's probably a boring subject for most people. Most NORMAL people!
I want to upload a picture of the adorable baby pandas in China but it's on my other computer and I can't get to it right now. So, I guess that'll be all.
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