Sunday, November 26, 2006

Nemesis (for Sunday Scribblings)

You know that person... the one you would jaywalk across a busy street to avoid? As I think about those people - yes - plural - people - in my life that I have considered my nemesis, I feel guilty, although I can picture them in my mind.

There was a particular "young lady" from elementary school with short, dark hair and fiery green eyes who attacked me on the school bus on the way home one afternoon for no reason apparent to anyone but herself. Her name sticks with me still, and woe to the person I meet now with that name.

There are the ones from middle school who seemed to have everything I wanted and couldn't have; who lived in fancy, 2-story homes; whose parents were "normal" and well-dressed; mannered, cultured even; with more money and more possessions. Those people who belittled others, perhaps myself, because they had more. Popularity came naturally to them, and boys were attracted to them as well. They had the best clothes, the best smiles, the best parents, the best friends, the best parties, the best of everything. They were the ones I tried to emulate and failed miserably to do so.

Then, high school came and went, and with it, its fair share of people who I considered a nemesis. Again, the jealousy factor. They all had something (or someone) that I couldn't have. The perky cheerleader with the sexy, gravelly voice we all envied, and who I would meet once again in college. The ostentatious twirler with Dolly Parton boobs, who I also would meet again in college. And countless others, far too many to describe here.

But college came and went, and with it, another nemesis: society. With the exception of my elementary school nemesis, all of my enemies were enemies because I felt like I didn't measure up to society's arbitrary standards. I spent about two-thirds of my life trying to be "worthy" by someone else's definition.

In my growing wisdom, I have realized that life is what I make it. People will love me for who I am, not what I have or don't have, and if they don't, then I will move on to the next friend. I don't have to have a nemesis. I don't NEED a nemesis. I don't have TIME for a nemesis! I have and probably always will be my own worst enemy. Who needs another one? Why should I give power to others by allowing them to be my enemies? That, in and of itself, is a statement.

I have also learned that the biggest nemesis is one that can only be conquered by Jesus Christ and His Love, thus, the guilt I feel about describing people I once thought of as enemies (my apologies to you wherever you are). Yes, there are still people I would cross the street to avoid. But those are just everyday annoyances, not enemies. God, hope, faith, wisdom... love really does conquer all.

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